From the Striving Path of Perfectionism to the Comforting Bed of Moss

I have walked the path of perfectionism for many miles until I got shut down from fatigue and sickness. Climbing the rocks of achievement, status, and people pleasing once gave me my confidence and purpose. Then, when I tripped and fell down to the ground, I landed in soft moss that my body now prefers. My body still wants to go the old ways of perfectionism because of muscle memory, but my brain knows better after getting cut on the sharp rocks of Mount Accomplishment.

I now take the wandering woodsy path, exploring new terrain under the calming canopy of pines and redwoods. The light streams through with inspiring beams. I breathe calmly as I meander around the moss, ferns, and fungi. I could get comfortable here in the Forest of Freedom. I can be myself here, taking my time, finding my footing among sustainable old growth and revitalized fallen logs. 

When I was high on Mt. Accomplishment, it was a solo journey, and I beamed pride from above, knowing I had gathered all of my strength and fortitude to traverse the dangerous terrain alone. I was proud of myself, but I also felt lonely and misunderstood. I didn’t really want to be above everyone, I just wanted to prove that I could do it…I could make it to the top and “reach for the stars, and at least end up in the clouds..” an idea I had been fed since elementary school. No one told me about the amount of exhaustion it would take to even reach for the clouds, let alone the stars. The peak of Mt. Accomplishment was cold and lonely. With my reward of exhaustion and maybe a lackluster selfie, I made my way down the mountain. 

Here among the mosses, I have made friends with other woodsfolk. The hobbits, elves, witches, and wizards all welcome me with their warm friendliness and forest magic. We share a beautiful fire, savor scrumptious food and drink that nourishes my soul as well as my stomach and taste buds. As the sun sets completely and the moon rises, we enjoy conversation about life, love, and happiness. 

I share my experiences as truthfully as I’ve ever stated, knowing that trying to prove myself or pretend in any way just ends up causing myself harm later. Everyone accepts me and appreciates my perspectives. I feel a warm glow in my heart of friendship with kindred spirits and a groundedness in my body in the moment. I am not trying to hustle up a hill to float in the clouds as some pretend person who has something to prove. I am here, present, and feeling more alive and authentic than ever. 

As I lay down to rest on the bed of moss to reflect, I look up at the stars. I feel more connected to them than ever before. Almost like they are glowing in all of our hearts too, and the embers of the fire. We as a community are like a constellation, shining our authentic lights and lifting each other up. I feel the warmth of the collective, and gratitude beams from my being. The moss holds me safe and comfortable, and I ease into a deep rest, grateful to be down on the forest floor with friends instead of up on the mountain alone.